you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
