I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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