It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
