she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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