hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Its about making memories worth repressing
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
