All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We are two peas in an std pod
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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