To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
