He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize