thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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