don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
