i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
