i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We are all done wearing pants today
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
