Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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