I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I need water and some morals
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
