Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
