the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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