About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
