how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
