3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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