So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize