try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
