did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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