Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
