I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I love you.
Bad choice
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