Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
