how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
