I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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