Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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