I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize