The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Pants are for mortals
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
