The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
