If that was your dad, he is hot
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
