**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
