So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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