You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
