just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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