I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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