I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
