i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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