my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
