hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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