My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
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