I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
