My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
