Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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