he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
