have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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