Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
