No awkward lesbian experiences without me
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
