I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
