i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
