Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
