So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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