I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
honey bunches of taint.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
In other news, I just burned my penis
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
