ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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