I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
