stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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