my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize