At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
