..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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