WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
