It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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